I wished I've had that "teenager rebellious" phase
I've always been a person that never causes any trouble, the kind of person that never missed school, always listened to their parents and have perfect grades. I didn't do it because someone told me too, but I though that was the minimum I've had to do for my parents. Sometimes this feeling of responsibility it's too much to handle, I often feel tired of trying to meet the expectation that I've myself put into.
That's why sometimes I wished I've had that "teenager rebellious" phase, just joking around and don't care about serious stuff, then maybe people wouldn't expect too much of me and I'd be able to relax. I was so focus on don't messed up my life that I forgot to actually live it and I wasted a lot of time for that. I want to break the mold and try whatever I want to try but now that I've grown up it's getting harder and harder. I don't wanna be anxious living my life always walking on my tiptoes.
I'm trying for now going with the flow of life and don't avoid things just because "it's the way I am and I won't change".
Thanks for reading :)
Note: This was on my drafts, it felt too personal to published at the time but reading this again, well it's just a honest thought I have so it's fine. I watched a podcast that talked about this days ago and made me realized that there are more people out there that have similar experiences and feelings.