Maybe the perfect group of friends doesn't exist
Whe I was litle I would dream about having a group of friends, like one of those you see on movies or tv shows. Growing up watching cartoons where there is often a group of friends going on adventures made me think "oh, that's what I should aim for, I want that special connection with people".
As the years passed by I noticed that making friends it's hard. As an introvert I spent the majority of my time at home doing solo activities, I'm comfortable being like this. Friends at school were only friends at school since I rarely went out, and those "friends" never lasted. After middle school: new school, new people, I had to make new friends again. At Highschool and college the same thing happened.
Mantaining friendships it's so hard, at some point I just gived up to that dream of a group of friends. It sounds unreachable after trying for years. I think it still makes me feel a little sad when I think about this but at the same time I accepted the reality. The reality that at least for me frienship is complicated (it's obviously not that easy like we see on TV shows) and that maybe the perfect group of friends doesn't exist.